I’ve always been pretty outgoing. I’ve made friends relatively easily, and I have a large and diverse set of interests that makes it easy for me to connect with many different types of people. However, as a post-higher education adult, I have mentioned on many occasions how difficult it is to make new friends when you’re not forced into a college classroom, a sorority house, or a weekly Friday house party. But friendships are so essential to good mental health, so it’s important to go out there and forge new relationships. The problem with making friends as adults is that everyone’s schedules are vastly different. And when you work full-time, it’s exacerbated because you have so little free time to begin with. But it’s not impossible. I’m fortunate that my closest friends have been in my life since high school or even earlier, but I’ve made some truly awesome friendships even post-kids. Read on for a few tips for creating meaningful friendships even in the crazy life of a working parent.
Month: September 2017
A few months ago, we went on a family vacation for the first time in three years. And since then, we have had the opportunity to go on a kid-free trip to New York. So when my husband’s best friend gave us two months’ notice for his wedding in France, I figured due to time and cost, we’d be sending my husband alone. My parents had already agreed to watch the kids for our trip to New York only three weeks earlier, so I was confident that even if I could take the time off work, we wouldn’t have a plan for the kids. But my incredible parents agreed and we were able to buy my flight with frequent flyer miles, so off we went for a very quick trip to France.
Our preferred airline is American Airlines, and we used my husband’s miles to buy my ticket, since I didn’t have enough. The day before we left, my husband, who has priority from all his work travel, got bumped to first class for the domestic part of our flight. Since my ticket was booked on miles, I wasn’t eligible. But my husband insisted I take the spot and let me enjoy the first class seat on the way to Dallas. I’ve only flown first or business a handful of times, but it was a nice treat to have a meal and a glass of champagne.
We sat in our regular economy plus seats for the longer haul from Dallas to Paris, and although I can never sleep well on planes, I was only able to get 30 minutes of shut eye the entire trip. We then had to take four(!!) trains to get from Paris to Évian-les-bains and by the time we arrived, we had been traveling for 24 hours, and I hadn’t slept in about 30. I felt hungover without any of the fun that caused the hangover.
In an attempt to curb jet lag, we opted to spend the evening out. We had a drink at a harbor-side bar before having dinner at Villa Borghese. The wine was great and the food impeccable. By the middle of dinner, I was working overtime just to stay awake at the table, so we hightailed it back to the house and I slept a glorious 10 hours.
Full Day One
We stayed in the bride’s grandfather’s house. There were seven adults and one baby in a 3 bed, 1 bath house. It was certainly a tight squeeze, but it was nice to be able to spend so much of our short trip with the bride and groom. We had fresh croissants and tea for breakfast at the house, then went out in the rain to walk around the town. Évian-les-bains is a nice little lakeside town on Lake Geneva.
Most of the people we hung out with spoke little to no English, and although it was difficult to work so hard to try to understand anything (which I didn’t) it was nice to eat and drink with locals. We stopped for drinks at Le Carafon. At the bride’s recommendation, I chose a Kir, which was white wine with crème de cassis. It was very sweet, but a nice warm up before lunch.
When our table was ready, we had crepes at a local creperie. I chose a sausage and cheese entree, and it was delicious. We had to head back to the house, so we all ordered dessert crepes to go, and I had a Nutella and salted caramel crepe. It was so good I forgot to stop and take a photo before devouring it.
For dinner, many guests had begun arriving, so we ordered a variety of pizzas and about 15 people squeezed into the living room for wine and pizza. It felt exactly as I had imagined to be with a bunch of locals, speaking a language I don’t know–a little out of the loop but a totally warm, welcoming environment.
Unfortunately, jet lag got the best of us and both my husband and I were awake at 4:30 am despite going to bed after midnight. After some tea and croissants, we got to work to help set up for the wedding reception. The bride and groom had gotten married in Bali one week earlier, so the Indonesian theme carried through the event. The groom is Tunisian and the bride is Indian, so the home-cooked food for the reception was absolutely amazing.
The party began at 12:30 pm and lasted well into the night. A group of us went into town and some opted to gamble at the casino while the rest of us hit a pub for drinks and then a late night (11:00 pm!) dinner like true locals. Thanks to the jet lag, we were wrecked by the end of the night. Having been the main event we came for, it was a wonderful day and totally worth the exhaustion.
Half Day in Paris
My husband grew up in Paris, and I have been there a couple of times, but I loved the idea of being there together without the kids, and I begged him to let us spend Saturday there. We hopped back on a train early Saturday morning and arrived in Paris by 1:00 pm.
For the first time, it didn’t rain on my Parisian exploration. It was chilly, but I was just happy for no rain. Since I have been to Paris two times before and had done all the touristy things, this trip was more about exploring the neighborhoods.
We had about 90 minutes before our lunch reservation, so after checking into our room at Hotel Saint Dominique, we walked over to Champs de Mars near the Eiffel Tower. It was a beautiful day and it felt good to walk around and enjoy getting to know the city a little better.
We had lunch at Louis Phillipe in the Marais district at the suggestion of my husband’s friend. It was a lovely spot with a covered outdoor patio, and the food was good (not great). I had entrecôte with a mushroom sauce, but surprisingly, it was overcoooked (who knew the French could overcook a piece of meat?!) and didn’t have a lot of flavor. It was disappointing given we were only having two meals in Paris.
After lunch, we were full and tired, but we didn’t want to waste what little time we had, so we went for a walk. We walked through Place Vendôme near the Ritz Carlton and enjoyed walking through small cobblestone streets and simultaneously admiring the architecture, people watching, and reminiscing about my husband’s childhood in Paris. We windowshopped on Rue St. Honoré and indulged in fantasies of extraordinary wealth while passing rows of luxury cars and trying on obscenely expensive watches.
Our dinner reservations were at 9:00 pm, so we grabbed a drink at Bistrot Alexandre III, a barge on the Seine that is fixed in place. It was fun people watching and getting chic Parisian outfit inspiration from all the impeccably dressed French women.
We hopped an Uber to our dinner reservation at L’Ogre in the 16th district. We sat on the window with a view of the Eiffel Tower, which was just as romantic as it sounds. The menu is on a chalkboard on the wall, and after exchanging pleasantries with our unusually cheery waitress, who we later found out was from Corsica, explaining her friendlier-than-Parisian demeanor, we opted to let her choose what we should order. The menu is built for sharing, and we ended up with an absolutely incredible piece of meat accompanied by fries, salad, and a bottle of delicious French red wine. This was exactly the meal I hoped to have in Paris and totally made up for the mediocre lunch.
After dinner, we were exhausted, but we decided to walk the roughly 30 minutes to get an up-close view of the Eiffel Tower lit up. We topped it off with street crepes for our walk back to the hotel. It was a perfect, beautiful, romantic end to our jam-packed day.
My previous trips to Paris were fine but nothing spectacular. I have much preferred other European destinations (Florence being my absolute favorite). But this trip was different, and although it was [insanely] short, it was truly a wonderful trip. I’m excited to come back in the future and explore it with more time, but between both our trips this month, we sure have proven we can pack a lot of city exploring in a short amount of time.
Planning a wedding? Or an elaborate party for your child’s first birthday? Maybe a milestone birthday for your spouse? You’re probably hiring vendors either without a contract or without reading the contract before you sign. While most vendors are legit, here’s what to look for in vendor contracts in case of a disastrous experience.
I’ve read a lot of parenting articles and books in my four short years of being a parent, and I’ve concluded that if they’re (mostly) fed, (sometimes) bathed, and (generally) not in harm’s way, I’m doing an okay job.
I came across a few articles and posts about positive parenting (here, here, and here), and it intrigued me enough to consider how I could apply it in my life. There is a broad spectrum of what is considered positive parenting tactics from simply removing corporal punishment (which we haven’t used before) to super crunchy versions that include never saying the word “no” and praising everything a kid does. Everyone can find their happy place on that spectrum. For me, it was simply about trying to change some of my habits in an attempt to see if I could get a different (better) outcome. I’m not a total drill sergeant as a parent, but I’m definitely not some zen yogi patiently humming quietly to myself and smiling through my toddler’s next-level tantrums.
Adjusting to life as a mom is difficult for anyone, but for moms with a Type A personality, it can be downright sanity altering. I’ve learned to mostly laugh my way through the chaos, but sometimes it feels like my family does things just to see if I’ll break. My kids are like little torturers, testing the limits of my sanity and regularly putting a check on my perfectionist personality.